Last Date...Ever? - Nez

 Last Date… Ever?

By Nez Nesmith

Lorraine burst out laughing when his upper plate clicked as he moved in to kiss her. Between guffaws she giggled, “No,” and gently pushed him away saying, “Goodnight Mr. Fisher” as she opened her door letting herself out of the car.  Stepping quickly to her lighted front porch, she turned and waved as he, now obviously embarrassed, sped away in his Cadillac. Knowing that at least one, probably two of her children were watching she kept the smile on her face upon entering. 

“Well,” demanded her teenage daughter, “how did that go?” 

“He’s not going to be our new dad is he?”, questioned her near-teen son. 

“It went okay, we had a nice dinner, and no he’s not going to be your new dad,” she replied. “I’m glad that’s over,” she murmured to herself. That had been her first date since her divorce eight years earlier, and she now expected it would be her last. She had spent those years caring for her old grandmother and raising her three kids. Her longtime friend Edna had more or less coerced Lorraine into this date with her now two-years widowed dad, John. Neither was happy about it. They had known each other for years and attended the same church. 

[In his mind Lorraine was too young for him, plus she had three kids. What would he want with young kids? He wouldn’t want kids dirtying up his Cadillac (Body by Fisher). Plus, Lorraine is two years younger than Edna, his own daughter. What would people at church think? And say? He could just imagine them asking, “What in the world are you thinking at your age taking on a much younger woman with three kids? Are you crazy? You need to act your age. Yet, John wasn’t happy to have been rebuffed like that, either.”]

In her mind John Fisher was much too old for her. He was her friend’s father for crying out loud, and he was an old man. He didn’t even have his own teeth. He was Mr. Fisher. Besides, she had known his wife Bess and attended her funeral. What would people at church say? And think? She could just imagine them asking, “What in the world are you doing taking on a man of his age? You already have your own grandmother. Are you starting an old-age home? Yet she was kind of sorry for laughing at his clicking teeth.”

Lorraine’s kids knew their Mom was often lonely, and they had urged her to try dating and maybe find a single man suitable to be their new dad. At least that was the message from her two older ones, the youngest boy had no such thoughts. He was happy the way things were. 

No one was supposed to have known about that date, but of course there are very few secrets in the tiny town of Lyman. And word certainly got around quickly. It didn’t take long for the town to know the results of her date with John Fisher, that it hadn’t ended well. Nor for the romantics to try to set Lorraine up with more dates. 

Lila Davis, another divorcee now living back home, offered a date with her dad, Fred, who was even older than John. Lila liked Lorraine’s two boys and included an offer to help raise them. Almost tempted, she turned Lila down. 

Neighbor Mae Hittson offered both of her two still-single brothers. Clifford, Mae’s husband, and church deacon, advised Lorraine to stay clear of Mae’s brothers, they were nothing but trouble. Lorraine thanked him.  Dorothy Dietz offered her lazy good-for-nothing husband, Leyland. There were several more match-maker offers, but Lorraine said no thanks to them all. 

Lorraine’s sister Kathryn, down in Mapleton, Oregon, even heard about it and sent a postcard stating that Mac still had brothers available, if she wanted a logger. Kathryn knew better but obviously couldn’t resist. Lorraine ignored Kathryn.

On the other hand, Jeannie and Sandy, young daughters of Eulene Bivins, the third of only three divorcees in Lyman, and from just around the corner, came over balefully begging and sort of threatening Lorraine not to date their Mom’s dates. Lorraine promised them she wouldn’t. 

Extreme offers and pleas from Lyman folks kept coming. Lorraine was both exasperated and feeling almost guilt-ridden. She didn’t know what to do. Grandma kept saying, “I told you so.” But that wasn’t true either. Her kids took calls asking for their mom, they had a date for her. The kids were asking what was wrong with everyone? Didn’t they realize that the process would involve them and certain rules? That they would have a say in who their mom dated. By Saturday Lorraine was exhausted. She had decided that that was positively her last date. 

At church that Sunday Edna, the preacher’s wife and John Fisher’s daughter, profusely apologized to Lorraine. But yet a deacon scolded her. So, before the sermon began, Lorraine stood and declared that she was not interested in dating or marriage at this time in her life. That she was already busy enough with three kids and her grandmother and would everyone please stop trying to fix her up with a man. Pat Bridgeman, Edna’s preacher-husband seconded that request and counselled that everyone, including his wife, should heed Lorraine’s request. John Fisher, stiffly listening from his usual seat, reddened, looked straight ahead and said not a word. 

Lorraine, smiling inside, now knew she could say, “No thanks” without any guilt, even to her own kids.